I am CoCo and I am a bologna-holic. I have been bologna free for almost 30 minutes now. These are the 12 steps to overcome your bologna addiction...
1. Bologna-holic dogs must admit they are powerless over bologna and the cravings have become unmanageable.
2. Recovering dogs must believe that a healthier snack will restore them to sanity.
3. Acknowledge that the fast high of sodium nitrite isn't worth all the long term problems that bologna has caused in your life.
4. Dogs need to create a moral inventory. We need to understand why we became addicted to bologna and what triggers our desire for bologna.
5. We must freely admit to other dogs that we are unable to control our bologna consumption. If they make fun of us, it is ok to bite them. As long as the other dog is not a hot dog.
6. Were entirely ready to have our higher Dog remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly ask our higher Dog to remove our shortcomings.
8. Make a list of all other dogs that we have harmed for bologna, and became willing to make amends to them all. It wouldn't hurt to feel guilty about the chicken, pork and beef in bologna as well.
9. Make direct amends to other dogs wherever possible, but don't buy them bologna to try to make amends.
10. Continue to take inventory of your life, if you chew up shoes admit it. Dogs that are strung out on bologna lie alot to get their next bologna fix. Those days are over!
11. Meditate through long naps on the couch to improve your connection with the higher Dog.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, try to carry this message to other dog bologna-holics, and practice these principles in all your affairs.
