Friday, April 18, 2008

Dog Letters To G-d

Dear G-d, How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom smell one another? Where are their priorities?

Dear G-d, When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?

Dear G-d, Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! I know every breed cannot have its own model, but it would be easy to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle!

Dear G-d, If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear G-d, Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have on- ramps?

Dear G-d, If we come back as humans, is that good or bad?

Dear G-d, More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear G-d, When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

Dear G-d, We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear G-d, Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the beagle across the street!

Dear G-d, Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear G-d, Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants because we can't make up our minds what NOT to order? Or is it the carpets thing, again?

Dear G-d, Can you undo what that doctor did ... ?