Fighting the war on terrorism: Dogs vs. Cats

Dogs are much better at fighting the war on terrorism than cats are. One of the main reasons for this, is that cats just don't care. Cats are lazy apathetic little fur balls that like to just find a warm place and sleep. They would migrate to Canada by droves if the cat draft ever came to pass. As soldiers in the war on terror, they are extremely difficult to keep motivated. They are also much harder to train. Dogs can learn in five minutes, what it will take a cat to learn in five weeks. Standard boot camp for a dog might be five weeks, but do we really have five years to get the cats up to speed? Cats just don't have the physical stamina to keep up. Sure they might be able to hold a grenade or two in their backpack, but are they able to carry a M-16? No. Cats do not follow orders well, they are not team players, and they never come when they are called! Cats fighting the war on terrorism will never work. They are easily distracted by catnip, balls with bells, string and shiny objects. Unfortunately, cats just don't have the loyalty that dogs do. According to undisclosed sources, the US soldiers have refused to work with military cats. It is feared that cats may give out sensitive information in exchange for a warm spot to sleep or a saucer of milk. It's OK cats, we understand. Not everyone can be like a dog.