You know you are a dog person when....

* Your jewelry box contains no jewels — just those fasteners from vari-kennels.

* Everytime you read the name, Bob, you think the guy's first name is Best of Breed.

* You ask your vet whether you can ride in her sports car sometime.

* Your house isn't carpeted — the fuzzy furballs under your feet are soft enough.

* Your hungry husband comes home from work, lifts the cover of the pan on the stove and says, "Is this people food or dog food?"

* Your hungry husband once ate the dog food and asked for seconds.

* Your mother-in-law keeps asking when you are going to have children.

* You don't give a second thought to using the brush you just used on your dog to give a quick run through your own hair.

* At your dinner parties, you always double check the butter before putting it on the table.

* You put important papers in your latest issue of your breed magazine. You know you will find them there.

* You have dog hair stuck on tape on wrapped gifts.

* You have dog toy/treats in your briefcase. 10 pictures of your dogs, but you can't locate any pictures of your kids to send to grandma.

* You show up at the car dealer's with a ruler, to measure and see whether your big dog crate will fit. Before the actual purchase, you make the dealer cringe by insisting that you load both crates and dog into the shiny, new vehicle to make sure it works.

* You can't get the groceries in the car because
(a) it's already full of dog food or
(b) you have that big old crate in there.

* You visit relatives only if there is a dog show nearby.

* You remove all the seats from the van except the two in the front so you have room for crates.

* The passenger seat is full of dog stuff.

* You cringe at the price of food in the grocery store, but think nothing of the cost of dog food or treats.

* You have six squeaky hedgehogs.....but only one with a squeaky that works.

* Your mother knows the implication of a "major breaking."

* You put popcorn in the clean dog dish for a movie treat.

* You pull out your credit card and little bits of liver are stuck to it.

* When you get your latest roll of film, there isn't a single picture of a two-legged person in in it.

* People at work have stopped offering you their lint brushes. They realize it is a hopeless case.

* Friends no longer ask, "how was your weekend"; they ask, "how did the dogs do?"

* All babies and youngsters are "people puppies."

—— Reprinted from Springfield Kennel Club's Agility Entry Confirmation (1999)