$700 Billion Bailout For Dog Who Bought Worthless Stuff

I've heard the government is debating about whether they should spend $700 billion dollars on worthless stuff at the taxpayers expense. Some economists are warning against this because they would need to print all this money we don't actually have, and it could cause the dollar to become worthless and inflation to go sky high. Yet President Bush thinks it's a good idea, so he will probably force us to do it, whether we like it or not. This way, large companies won't have to suffer for making poor purchasing decisions.

This past year, I too have bought some worthless stuff, and I am hoping that I will qualify for a bailout from the government as well. President Bush, if you are reading this blog, can you consider the purchase of some of these items and contact CoCo the Blogging Dog at your earliest convenience?

My first item is this sequined vote for Obama dog t-shirt. I purchased it for $25, but will sell it to the US government for only $250., due to inflation. I don't want to vote for Obama or McCain anymore, I just want them off my TV screen and out of my life. In a couple of years, I'm sure the government could resale this Obama dog t-shirt, and repay the taxpayers at least $5. for the deal.

My next item is Econo Poo, and it is very realistic looking dog poo. On the downside, once you have fooled someone once with it, it is very hard to fool them again. Why oh why did I buy this? Econo poo used to be a novelty, now everyone has econo poo. I'm still hoping the US government will consider purchasing this for only $700., if they act now.

Last but certainly not least, is my fancy dog tiara. To be honest, I'm not sure why I ever got this. I guess I just thought if I had a dog tiara, I could rule all the cats, and have the couch all to myself. It didn't quite work out that way, so now I would like to sell this to the US government for the low low price of $125.

All proceeds will go to the stockpiling of Beggin Strips, we look forward to your offers with great anticipation!